19 : nonsense that might make sense

For so many years I've been blaming all the things and people around me for my unhappiness. I thought that if I am placed, in what I called a perfect environment for me, I would change and feel good. Growing up, I lied to myself that I am too different for others to understand me. I thought I was special, too unique to be understood by the society. Now maybe it is true to some point, but I know that's not the actual reason for me feeling unhappy.

I guess there's a certain depth in every one of us. Things we do not say out loud, our dreams and visions that we do not share with others, sometimes deny it from even ourselves. I always have wondered if some people are actually as dull as they seem. For a long time it seemed impossible, I was telling myself that each one of us has something interesting lurking inside, waiting to be discovered.  Now I think... some are actually as dull as they appear to be. On the other hand, they are dull to ME, they are dull because I am looking from my point of view, presuming of course, that I am not dull myself. Everything is relative.

Every concept, every truth, every perception in this world is just a point of view.

We are placed into a reality with a fixed set of standard moral rules. These follow us through out our lives, sort of predetermined story of each one of us, living in a so called modern society. We are born, in a world run by money and business, into a lot of cruelty and so many expectations. We are too often told what's right or wrong, we are given too little chances to choose for ourselves. It's like we are born and given this instruction book about how to live our lives right. Why do we love authorities so much? Why do we trust what we are told through media, politricks, why do we follow the crowd? Is it out of laziness or out of fear? Lack of wisdom? Pure dumbness? Uh.

At the end of the day though, most of us are similar. We're human, all of us. We are of course, individuals, unique, but, we are too, the same. There are certain things that unite us all. Certain things we cannot run away from or get rid off. I suppose, there's no conclusion to nothing, except knowing, that you're born alone, and you will die alone, what you do in between the two is your choice, so do something that feels right.